Mr. Travolta Would Like a Discreet Massage Now...

After some three months now of no gallbladder attacks worth mentioning (most of the ones I've had have been fleeting enough to barely register, thanks to my new diet of food that doesn't taste good, or more likely indigestion from the few times...okay, the many times I've strayed from said diet), I had something of a relapse into pain territory Saturday night. The beef stew or whatever it was that was prepared in house and advertised to me as "probably not anything that would upset your stomach" did just that. It's my own damn fault for eating it, mind you, but still...someone's trying to kill me (melodramatic music).

Okay, no one's trying to kill me, but if they were they'd likely find me a pushover if they offered me pizza. I miss pizza like the dickens (though not like I miss Charles Dickens, whose Great Expectations is about the only novel of his I've read, and that was a "dumbed down for high-school English students" version, with I'm guessing all the sex and nudity and random gunplay edited out. Right?). I miss spaghetti too, and hamburgers...god, I'd sell my soul for a hamburger with ketchup, pickles, onions mustard, general all-around greasiness, if I didn't know for a fact that it would turn my stomach into the Atlantic Ocean mid-hurricane season, and myself into the Pequod (look, two literary references in one post! I'm getting the English major feeling back in my bones, perhaps).

Living with my gallbladder over the last few months (now that I know what the issue was, thankfully nothing like an alien living in my chest as I suspected) has proven to be both stressful and managable, and as I consider the fact that yes, I'll have to get the sumbitch yanked out sooner rather than later, I can honestly say that I won't jump right away back onto the junk-food bandwagon that has gotten me into this mess in the first place. I mean, sure, I want to eat me some hamburgers, but not immediately after surgery. And I hope I can scale back once I do start back on the junk, because too much of anything ain't good for you. People say I've lost weight since I started not eating crap.

This means I must have been something of a fat-ass before.

Anyhow, with the support of my felloe Scientologists and L.Ron's wisdom to guide me, I'm sure that I can conquer whatever alien-created issues come my way.