There is a movement afoot online that you may have heard of, which seeks to address the concerns of a community long used to seeing itself marginalized and reduced to stereotypical depictions in mass media. It's a movement that has many legitimate concerns, and I for one am proud to count myself as someone who hopes that this particular movement has an impact beyond the narrow scope of simply reforming its image and has an opportunity to effect real change in the world at large.
That movement, of course, is #BlackLivesMatter.
There's another movement online, either identified as "Gamergate" or "Men's Rights," that is just fucking stupid. Do I really need to expend more time on it?
Okay, maybe I should (really short blog posts aren't my thing, anyway): Men's Rights is a movement that prides itself on addressing a problem that doesn't really exist (much in the same way Fox News has been beating the drum for Benghazi, or your local preacher might against marriage equality). The problem, according to MR activists, is that feminists are taking over the cultural landscape and turning men into emasculated "female men" who can't possibly live up the exalted ideals of men of America's past. Men of valor and courage, like John Wayne (draft-dodging-during-WWII John Wayne), perhaps. I have to admit, I'm not terribly familiar with the core beliefs of the movement, but I kinda feel like I can bash them anyway. Because they sound to me more like whiny little shits than actual men.
The Men's Rights movement is like Al Bundy's "No Ma'am" movement from Married With Children, only even less funny. It sees a world in which men (rugged, heterosexual, tree-chopping-down men) are "under assault" from forces beyond their control. And they'd better best stand up for themselves, because those forces might just win and eradicate everything that's wonderful about men. The Nazis had the Jews, Men's Rights Advocates have women (or maybe "Women") to blame for everything that's wrong with their world. Yes, I just compared the Men's Rights thugs to Nazis. No, I don't take it back.
I am a product of a household with strong maternal figures (particularly my grandmother, who will absolutely cut a bitch if she has to). I have, at times, wondered if my lack of ability to land a relationship is somehow a result of having strong females in my life and finding them intimidating as a result (it's the old Freudian concern of whether or not I "want a girl just like dear old Mom"), and I'm not saying I've figured any of this out enough to change my relationship status anytime soon. But I think I'm better than the Men's Rights advocates in this respect: I don't blame my lack of a relationship on women. Also, I can actually hold a conversation with a real, live woman, even one that I'm attracted to. I'm pretty sure a lot of the Men's Rights thugs can't say that.
By the way, I'm using "thugs" pretty loosely here, but I think for once (as opposed to Fox News's overuse of it re: Baltimore recently) it applies here: these guys are bullies. A bully is, of course, someone who feels disenfranchised, and they lash out in response. A bully online is even worse than a bully in the flesh: at least a "real-time" bully has the stones to be a shit to you to your face. What I see when I hear about death threats against female game designers (the origin of the Gamergate thing seems to be insinuations that female gaming journalists slept with designers in order to get their information, or some other such nonsense) is a scared little boy lashing out with his keyboard at all the perceived slights of the world. I recognize that scared little boy because, sometimes in my past, it's been me. I think any internet activity from my darkest personal times can testify to that.
The internet can be an empowering tool for the voiceless, or those who feel that way. But it can also be a bullhorn which is employed to silence other voices even more. I'm not inclined to say "Men's Rights advocates should be shut up," or banned, if only because freedom of speech is the most important right in our constitution (no, being able to shoot off a gun is not as important). But there should be consequences for when speech crosses the line. I think also that the more someone I disagree with speaks, the more likely they'll say something that even their followers might find reprehensible. Men's Rights advocates have a forum, and I'm sure it's as batshit insane as I think it is. Eventually their sense of entitlement will be their downfall. I have to believe that, because it's often proven the case in the past.
It's part of a larger narrative that has taken hold particularly since Obama took office, this idea that we need to "get America back" from the socialists, feminists, or other such groups who are trying to render the America we grew up in irrelevant. Fact is, I think that's more dangerous than letting these idiots speak. Ask someone who wasn't in the majority at a particular epoch in our history what it was really like, and chances are it won't be all sock-hops and soda fountains. Americans have a tendency to not see what their actual history is, but what they want it to be. That's why Reagan could appeal to the notion of the Fifties being placid and bucolic, when in reality that decade was a time of upheaval (and also the birth of the modern Civil Rights movement). Men's Rights seems rooted in a "me, too" notion of oppression, as if suddenly being a (white) male in American society is a handicap. I'm a white male, I can tell you that I've never been harassed by the cops simply for standing out in a particular neighborhood. It's a counter-argument to people with legitimate beefs about the way that society and authority have treated them, and it's a false narrative rooted in paranoia and a fear of losing whatever power you have.
Did I also mention how fucking stupid Men's Rights guys are?
Anyway, some advice to my brothers in the movement, assuming any of them can read: chill out. Relax. Try actually talking to a woman for once in your life. Don't get mad, bro. Do get out more, and let the rays of the sun shine upon your pale, asshole exterior. Keep talking smack, because eventually you'll run off everyone who even thought about supporting you by being a dick. And finally, just fuck off already.
This is your kindly Uncle Trevor, signing off.
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