Welcome, friends and fans, to the George W. Bush Presidential Library! Here we have all the highlights from Bush's eight years in office (that time Kanye West called him racist! Ricky Martin teaching him how to dance at the first inauguration! And so much more!).
When I first saw that the library was being dedicated today (with an opening date of May 1), it was on the Colbert Report that I learned of this grand event. So naturally, I turned to Fox News, which (wouldn't you know it) was camped out in front of the former Texas Roadhouse/Chili's where the library will be located! Hurray!
George W. Bush, in case you forgot, left office in 2009 with a solid to fair chance of ending up in the Warren G. Harding School of Presidential Boobs and Morons, with the caveat that he'd started an unnecessary war in Iraq and played hopscotch on the Constitution when it came to civil rights of the American people in the "age of terror." So he's no Nixon (a paranoid who sought to ruin his percieved enemies while undermining the very fabric of American democracy), but he's certainly no Taft (best remembered for not being able to fit his own bathtub or getting stuck in it, even). And then some guy on Fox News (Brit Hume, I believe, though he couldn't have been, cause that guy's been dead for years) starts editorializing about how history might "judge Bush differently" than he's been judged so far. At this point, dear reader, I turned the channel.
It may very well be true that history will judge Bush differently, but for now I'm comfortable saying that he's the worst president we've ever had. Period, end of story. And before you accuse me of "not knowing history," I know all the presidents who ever served. Not just your Nixons (who rates as the most interesting president to me, because of how fucked-up he was) but also your William Henry Harrisons, your Zachery Taylors, and the others who either died before making an impact or didn't do much while they were there (hello, Rutherford B. Hayes and Chester Arthur!). Presidential history is a favorite of mine, and yes I have my picks for the best (Lincoln, Teddy and Franklin Roosevelt, and Jimmy Carter gets a special place for being a decent human being despite having lost to the Human Cliche Machine, Ronald Reagan) and the worst (hello, the guy who'se getting his library this week? Also, Harding, Nixon, and I'm not that fond of the pre-Lincoln, post-Polk bunch who could've stopped the Civil War if they'd been competent). So I know my shit.
In time, of course, passions have faded, and I almost, kinda, maybe sometimes feel sorry for George W. He's like the guy who was pranked to be elected president by the popular kids in school, then some really bad shit went down while he was in office and the next thing you knew class was in lockdown and your civil rights were being compromised in the name of "national security." Plus, it didn't help that the Dark Lord of the Sith was vice-president. Still, there's a lot he has to answer for, and he hasn't even begun to do that.
So congrats on your library, Mr. President. Be sure to include the names of all the servicemen and -women who died in Iraq, alongside photos of you unable to open that door in China and the replica Oval Office where you ask people to make the same decisions you made, when faced with the historical alternatives. Because I'm pretty damn sure they'd like to know why you made that decision, you son of a bitch.
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