Bruno Mars, "When I Was Your Man"

Last year around this time, I was "inspired" (i.e. I co-opted the idea) by Jonathan Garren to start writing about favorite songs or just songs that popped up whenever I hit "shuffle" on my iPod, a la Nick Hornby and his whole "Songbook" concept. Then my computer died (or was murdered) and I had to wait to get a new one before I could re-start my iTunes. Imagine the frustration I felt when, on Tuesday night (partly to get away from the wall-to-wall coverage of the Boston bombing, partly because I had been putting off rebooting my iTunes since I got my new laptop), I was unable to get into iTunes because my account had been closed for security reasons (i.e., I haven't done anything iTunes-wise since last June, and I was on a computer not previously registered or some such whatever). What I'm saying is, for the forseeable future, it's gonna have to be songs on CD or the radio that I write about here, which is just fine. Because then I get to talk about a little gem by Bruno Mars.

Bruno Mars first came into view as a collaberator on some big songs by B.o.B. ("beautiful girls, all over the world"...you know the song, it was everywhere in 2010) and Travis McCoy, started making his own music with the overly bad "Just the Way You Are" (even Lionel Richie thought that was a weak one), and has since been either very good or very bad, depending on the song. He's had the pre-requisite troubles with drugs that all musicians seem to go through (and many music journalist; I recently had to put away a book by a music journalist that was basically "and then I got hooked on heroin again" for the first two-hundred pages. I assume the next three-hundred would have been in a similar, ahem, vein). He's very polarizing, especially when he does a song for the Twilight soundtracks (can't remember which one). And he's probably not someone that I'd much listen to, except for his last single before this had hot lesbians in the music video (I'm sorry, but I'm a sucker for hot lesbians in music videos. It's my Achilles heel).

So along comes "When I Was Your Man," and I'm floored. First off, it's so simple and understated: just a guy at the piano, not Billy Joel-ing up the place necessarily but pouring out his heart about a girl that he done wrong. Then, whenever it started to become a staple of the various radio stations that tend to play new and old stuff together, it didn't *get* old, i.e. "there's that goddam Bruno Mars song again." Good songs can bear repeated listens, sometimes not on the hour every hour but ideally without becoming annoying. So far, anyway, "When I Was Your Man" is a good song.

Often when writing the history of our romantic lives, whether for a prospective partner or just in our head (who doesn't do that, right?), we tend to make ourselves out to be the victim in any "love gone wrong" story from our past. I sure as hell have, many times. But it takes a grown-up to acknowledge that, for every time you got your heart broke, you've probably broken a few yourself. Most of the time it's not intentional, but sometimes (regrettably) it is, because what are guys but penises attached to non-thinking talking boxes sometimes? Any guy between the ages of thirteen and a hundred who doesn't admit to rejecting someone because they weren't attractive in some way is a liar, and it's often karma that pays you back for a love turned away too casually. To be fair, sometimes it isn't meant to be, sometimes you're just a signpost on the way to whoever that person is really meant to be with.

But anyway, the song is beautiful, and it makes me think (with a cringe, often) of all the times I was the guilty party in a heartbreak, and wish that I could have a do-over to make things right. It's unrealistic, of course (outside of fantasies in which we can go back and talk to our younger selves about what a dick we're being), but it's comforting to think that maybe, by at least acknowledging that we screwed up this time, the next time won't be so bad. I admit that my firsthand experience with love and relationships is often lacking in real-world examples of how to make it work, but I'd like to think that eventually I'll figure this shit out. Until then, I'll have sad songs for when I've been wronged but also sad songs like this one for when I was wrong. That counts for something in this crazy world.