Yes, I am psyched about grad school in the fall, but I'm also more than a little bummed to be leaving where I work now.
Because I got fired once for writing about where I worked (and being dumb enough to leave it online where it could be easily found by my bosses), I've bobbed and weaved around the subject here, specifically where I work. I will continue to do so because while I have three months or so left, I could easily have a couple of days left if I said something that could be taken offensively and, oh I don't know, lead to me being fired again. People who've been fired know the sort of post-traumatic stress disorder I'm talking about here...or maybe it's just me?
Anyway, no specifics, but I have been working at a place for almost four years now and it's been an experience. I've made some friends, lost some through them leaving or whatnot, and managed to find myself in pretty good company for the most part. The sad fact is, I'll probably lose touch with them as the years go on, because I can honestly say that's happened with other places I worked or went to school. It's just the way of the world; if your closest group of friends consisted only of people you knew when you went to school for the first day of first grade, you'd have a pretty limited range of people in your life. We grow as we get older (or maybe regress as our hairline recedes or that paunch we used to be able to burn off quick as a youngster has the annoying habit of staying around) and part of growing is knowing who to let go of and who to keep around. I guarantee of the people I work with that I want to still have in my life some way or another, they'll be the ones probably reading this after I've moved on to college (or at least the ones I hit up on Facebook with a friend request).
A lot can happen in four years, for sure, and not all of it has been good. But that's the way life goes, and for every instance of a word I'd like to get back or a gesture made in vain, I know that those events can shape me to be a better version of the person I was before I fell on hard times and one or two places gave me a hand and something to do. I'm leaving on my own terms, and for whatever that's worth to you, it means a hell of a lot to me.
Four years ago, I lost the job that I thought would be my career, or at least the day job till my career as a writer of some sort took off. I was in a bad way for sure. I remember the way I'd go around looking for work, desperate for anything. I even had a job lined up with a certain "Golden Arches" restaurant you may have heard of (I think they're Scottish) before a friend hooked me up with a better option at the breakfast bar of the hotel he worked at. Then, needing some extra income, I found my way to the job I have now, and will continue to have until August. I think they were surprised that someone with my degree was applying for the job they had open, but they let me work a week and I managed to get the job because I was there.
I'll leave it there as far as getting into my personal history with my workplace (like I said, no need to say anything that'll be taken the wrong way, even if I'm being sarcastic...because that doesn't come across online too well, I have learned), for now anyway. I anticipate grad school to be a challenge, for sure, and I worry that I might fuck it up (because in all honesty, I'm really good at that) but I'll do my best and keep my head up. I have done over a decade of work that doesn't involve what I consider myself good at (there wasn't much call for a guy who'd read Gravity's Rainbow in a grocery-store frozen food department, naturally), and it's time to admit that I'm ready to try this whole academia thing full-blast. But I'll miss the folks I knew (some of whom I hope to continue knowing, if the stars align) at the place that I've spent so much time these past four years. When you find a place that feels comfortable because of the people you work with, it's hard to leave even when you know it's for the best. Because the people I've worked with, to a man (or woman), have made my time there awesome. Even on the shitty days (see, that's the part that would get me fired, if I'd identified where I work) :-)
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