Last weekend, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl. This was brought on by a very important change in my fortunes: my tax money came due. Brother, I was gonna go through that like Elvis at a banana. peanut-butter, and bread stand.
Not really, of course: I got bills to pay, every month, and even after I pay them for one month, it's almost time for the next month's payments. I'd been living paycheck-to-paycheck since at least the end of January, when all sorts of things came due in addition to my usual bills. February was not a particularly good month for me.
But it ended on a couple of positive notes: my friend Sara found a job (awesome), and I got my tax money back without having to immediately spend it on car- or health-related stuff.
For now...
But I'm pretty good right now, I have to say, for the first time in a long time, at least in terms of finances. Yes, I know that I didn't get back a whole lot compared to other people (I doubt Donald Trump would wipe his nose with the amount of tax money I got back), but that's his problem, not mine. As these past couple of months have proven, having too little money can cause pain and misery. But having too much of it can also do so.
Before you accuse me of free-market socialism (if that's even a thing), let me explain: I know that the rich, for all that they can buy (private islands, presidential elections, yes-men who won't look askance at your bright orange spray-tan), can't buy happiness, at least not without the assistance of a needle, some coke spoons, or the silence of a hotel staff when the idea of inviting hookers to your room turns out to be a very bad idea. There are as many miserable rich people as there are poor, though their miserableness comes in better-fitting clothing. Envy of the rich can be as much a dead-end as devoting your life to doing as much meth as you can. The rich aren't any better than us, they can just afford to hide it better.
So I don't want to be rich, but I've had a pretty good taste of being poor and that's not appealing either. Basically, my philosophy is this: have enough to take care of bills and myself, but with some left over for shit that I don't need but want. How to go about achieving that? I haven't figured that out yet. Damn you, philosophy!
But I do know a few things: first, I want to get a laptop. Not a tablet, not a smartphone, but a laptop. I want to be able to write long pieces again for publication by reputable websites and magazines. I also want a laptop so that I can surf the internet at the local lib (they have free Wi-Fi). And I'd like to re-start my iTunes account, either with all the stuff I had (assuming it's not lost) or afresh with newer stuff (I've bought a few CDs since last June, there's a nice collection there waiting to assault my earbuds). That's it...oh, and any car issues that may come up, I want something in the bank so that I can handle it.
But otherwise I'm good. I realize that things will come up, and I will likely have to spend some of that tax money more than I might perhaps like. But keeping things in perspective, this allows me to pay my bills as close to time as possible (I still might try to stretch out some things here and there, depending on what comes up) and perhaps even have a life besides work and home (maybe, anyway. Fingers crossed). More than anything, for the first time in a long time I think I can handle shit-storms that may come my way, at least for now.
That is, until the Great Dragon Apocalypse of 2014...
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