It feels weird to say 2013, it still doesn't feel like that just yet. Damn Mayans, why couldn't you have been right?
Anyway, New Year's is the time to make resolutions (i.e., "promises that you won't keep"). In that spirit, and with that in mind, here are some of my New Year's resolutions:
1.) Watch more reality TV, especially Mob Wives of LA Love & Basketball Wives of Real Atlanta
2.) Read less books, especially ones related to sports.
3.) Shave my head (because I have a mental picture of what I'd look like and I gotta say, dynamite!)
4.) Quit indulging my niece in her endless quest to look at the baby in the mirror (we keep seeing it, it always is there).
5.) Join the French Foreign Legion.
6.) See if I have any years of eligibility left and try out for any local college's punting position.
7.) See the collected works of Michael Bay.
8.) Vote Republican, for once.
9.) Quit being a smartass (people get it, I think I'm funny. Move on).
10.) Finally start that meth lab I've been dreaming of.
11.) Quit making pointless lists just for laughs.
12.) Write my own self-help book (Troy McClure already took my title: Get Confidence, Stupid!).
13.) Bathe less.
14.) Smoke more.
15.) Pull for the Patriots, Crimson Tide, Yankees, Heat, and whoever is the most hated team in hockey or women's volleyball.
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