Sunday, December 5, 2010

Somewhere Over Gravity's Rainbow

I'd like to expand a little on the Natty Lite analogy/metaphor, whichever you prefer, from my posting of a few days hence (does anyone use the word "hence" anymore? Other than ex-English majors?). The reason is, I feel like I was rushed by the computer I was on being in close proxemity to another person (as is often the case in a library computer lab) and I don't do well writing-wise when I feel like someone could be watching me as I type, slowly reading along and tying together all the words to form sentences and whatnot.

I'm weird like that.

Anyway, back to Natty Lite: I don't mean to suggest that somehow my life sucks or is bereft of fun. It's just that the non-suckitude is of a degree lesser than what it was, say, a year ago at this time. What I miss about my previous job and the times attached to it was a sense of how perfectly positioned I was for something really special or just nice to happen between myself and someone who shall remain nameless, though she knows who she is (I hope so, anyway). Not that my chances of happiness were invested solely in her, but I did feel better about things when we could share a brief moment together (or, as in the case when we both got bumped from a field trip to the sexy, exciting world of Greenwood, all day together).

Those were my Budweiser days, I guess (I like Bud, I know it's not "the best beer ever" but it hits my sweet spot and I enjoy it immensely, hence "Budweiser days". Can you tell that I'd be an excellent alcoholic if I just put in the time and effort?).

I am lucky, in this economy and with an incoming Repub governor who probably worships at the altar of "fiscal responsibility" i.e., screw the poor folks, to have two jobs, and to be (fingers crossed) in no danger of getting fired from either. Damn lucky, really; from my time walking the diseased carpet of the local unemployment office ("Where Hope Goes to Die"), I know that it could be a lot, lot, looooooooottttttttt worse.

So don't think that I'm complaining too much, or making a big stink when I shouldn't. It's human nature (at least mine) to want something more fulfilling, even when we're sure that what we've got isn't too bad. It's the striving for more out of life that's hopeful; it's when you settle for less than what you're worth that the real trouble begins.

Anyway, that's a rushed clarification of a rushed statement, because the truth is that I need to hit the head. You didn't want to know that, but I felt like sharing.

You're welcome.

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